What Is Emotional Codependence?

Relationships dominated by emotional codependence are not healthy or balanced. In fact, some can even be toxic. Therefore, it is important to be aware of the symptoms and correct them as soon as possible. Given this, we will tell you what emotional codependence involves, what its symptoms are and how it is treated.

What is emotional codependence?

Although the terms are interdependent, codependence is not the same as emotional dependence. In the case of emotional addiction, we are talking about individuals whose dysfunctional personality causes them to depend on others to be happy. These people have extremely toxic and destructive relationships because they are completely dependent on their partners. In other words, they consider partners to be an indispensable part of their lives, a necessary condition no matter how bad the relationship. So these individuals are not autonomous and often have low self-esteem.

Emotional codependence, on the other hand, is different. In this case, we are talking about people who depend on other people’s dependence on them. In other words, they are dependent on the dependence of others on them.

This type of dysfunctional relationship can occur in any context (parents / children, friends, etc.). However, it is especially common among couples.

In any case, in dependent and codependent relationships, we are talking about individuals who depend on each other. However, we look at two different dynamics. On the one hand, addicts do not know how to live without their partners. On the other hand, those who experience emotional codependence are dependent on the fact that someone else depends on them.

Therefore, this can cause them to take excessive care of their partners. As tender as they may seem, their motives are not altruistic, but rather manipulative. Therefore, excessive control, jealousy and manipulation can occur in an unbalanced and toxic relationship. As a result, both sides suffer.

Symptoms of emotional codependence

Because their own stability is based on someone else who needs them, codependent individuals tend to do everything they can to maintain this dependence. Therefore, it is normal for them to permanently control their partners, manipulate them and even undermine their self-esteem. By doing so, they ensure that their partners continue to need them and depend on them.

Codependent people put a lot of effort into being useful to their partners. Therefore, when they fail or are not rewarded for their efforts, they can end up feeling really frustrated.

The fear that their partners will no longer depend on them grows when they do not receive the thanks they are looking for. In other words, they are beginning to feel insecure. Therefore, they need to hear their partners say how great they are and acknowledge everything they do for them. They need to hear how necessary they are in the lives of their partners.

In addition, if this approval does not exist, they may even enter into a dynamic of unhealthy punishment for their partners to understand that they are essential.

Responsibility for the feelings of others

And codependent people suffer. The truth is that no one is responsible for another person’s feelings. However, emotional codependence causes individuals to feel responsible for what their partners feel.

Therefore, they place a high value on the feelings of their partners and can feel really frustrated when they cannot make them happy. Let’s not forget that their goal is to be essential in the life and well-being of their partners. They see any negative feeling as a possible threat to addiction.

These individuals depend on the dependence of others to maintain their self-esteem and fill the void in their souls. As a result, they are constantly looking for ways to maintain this addiction and need. This means that I can spend a lot of time thinking about ways to be necessary and useful, which can lead to an obsession.

In fact, on many occasions, they forget about themselves and neglect their own needs. Their only priority is to demonstrate how necessary they are and to condition their partners.

Treatment of emotional codependency

A toxic relationship between a dependent person and a codependent person needs intervention as soon as possible. In this sense, both parties must relearn and redirect the way they behave and relate to each other. Moreover, they must make great efforts to increase their assertiveness and self-esteem and to leave their fears and insecurities behind.

Partners can achieve this through personalized therapy, as well as through couple therapy.

Conclusion

People with codependent tendencies need to understand that relationships should be based on a bond of freedom and personal choice. Trying to “bind” another person by making them feel that we are essential to their happiness will only lead to problems. At the same time, it is not a healthy way to increase our self-esteem.