Toxic Family Relationships And How To Defend Yourself

We all have toxic relationships with a family member who thinks only of himself. Such people are manipulative and play with the feelings of others. It is very complicated because we have close relationships with them, but how can we protect ourselves?

Toxic family relationships when we all suffer

Experts believe that the existence of  toxic relationships between family members can seriously affect the quality of life. If, for example, a friend proves to be selfish and manipulative, we can always give up the relationship with him and make another friend who offers us balance and security.

But what do you do if the person manipulating you is your mother, brother, or wife? Then it’s not as easy and we know it.

You simply cannot end your relationship with your mother, brother or mother-in-law. A lot of complex feelings and emotions gather in our soul. They are our blood relatives and it is very difficult to break such a bond.

However, you must do it so as not to destroy your health. There are times when such toxic relationships explode and can destroy your emotional balance.

We can give you an example: parents who do not let their children choose their own future life partners, always criticize their choices regarding friends and lovers. We all make mistakes, but what do you do when your sister or brother criticizes you or tries to hurt you? How do you react? In the following, we will try to give some answers.

1. Set boundaries: decide what you want and what you don’t allow

Here’s an example: go to dinner at your partner’s family, who offer you a spicy meal. But you don’t like this dish and it doesn’t do you any good. However, so that they do not feel offended, do not tell them anything and continue to eat.

Now, every time you go to your in-laws, you get the same spicy food. You have nowhere to go and you have to tell them you can’t eat. You will probably get an answer like this: And why haven’t you said anything so far?

It’s just an example, a situation where you have to tell those around you what you accept and what you don’t. If you can’t go to your mother’s every afternoon, or you can’t go shopping with your sister, tell them.

If someone doesn’t want to tell you how to raise your children, tell them too. Listen without arguing. Speak respectfully and carefully, so as not to set your suitcase on fire when expressing your feelings. It is not selfishness, it is sincerity.

2. Learn to be convincing without being disrespectful

Sometimes we do not want to argue with the family and keep all the grievances in our souls. Like when your parents or grandparents complain that they are always alone, when in fact, you have always taken care of them. Regarding such accusations that you are not involved enough, you must be determined and, with care and respect, tell them the truth: “I always come when I can and you know that you can call me whenever you need me.

You know I’m always with you, but please don’t ask me for things I can’t do. I am also going through a more difficult situation now and I ask you to understand me. ” Be empathetic and honest and tell them the truth about your feelings, they need to know what you can and cannot do. Show them that you also have needs that they must meet.

3. Help your family unconditionally, but take care of yourself

Family will always come first, everyone knows. But as long as they are part of our lives, they can be a destructive presence and hurt us at the same time. There are also cases of abuse during childhood. It is clear that we can never have an affectionate relationship with such people.

It is very important to have self-esteem, to be aware that you are a mature and balanced person, who has the right to happiness every day. If someone in your family hurts you, then all you have to do is distance yourself to regain your peace and integrity.